It took me 8 months! WTF?

Wow! Talking about procrastination! Did I say that out loud? Oh yes, PROCRASTINATION.. noun, "the action of delaying or postponing something" and the saying goes "procrastination is the thief of time". Yeah, tell me about it!

In all honesty, I did completely lose track of time. Looking at where I was in December, getting ready for the new year. Oh, we've all been guilty of it.. New year, new me, right? And swiftly it turns into "Same old ****"!

It's funny and yet a curious case that I still cannot bring myself to say a swear word at this age! Huh! I remember my ex-husband used to make fun of that, saying I was way too strict and need to loosen up. What has swearing got to do with loosening up? I never got that. Over the years, I thought I might turn into one of these grumpy women, you know? The ones who are always mumbling swear words at random strangers. Maybe it is still a bit early to reach this stage, yet I have serious doubts that it will ever happen. It's not about getting away with it. 

Have I told you that for the first time ever, I recently found out that I am an HSP? What's an HSP? A Highly Sensitive Person, that's what it is! And yes, it's a thing and apparently, on avarage1 in 5 people is an HSP. Don't ask me about the validity of the stats.. Google it up!

So back to the swearing thing.. See.. I almost believed how my ex would describe me. It is a very simple thing, such a tiny example, yet so telling. It was a form of bullying. Some people like to use more complex terms like 'psychological abuse', however, I tend towards putting it simply as 'bullying'. It didn't seem well planned and crafted in the making, it was very impulsive and childish like being bullied in a school playground. I would hear these random comments all day, every day, which basically sent the message that something was wrong with me. My ex entertained this habit as most men in our culture would. Disguised as a little banter, of course, just taking the mickey and adding some spice into this boring marital household, feeling stuck with a stiff nun who is way too strict, she cannot even say a swear word. Surprise, surprise! That's the one he picked out of the bunch! 

Turns out, I cannot handle offensive words or violence or loud noises or air pollution among many other things because I am an HSP. And of course, not giving in to pressure and sticking to my true self earned me the badge of the strict, lifeless, boring, flat, mono-dimensional, neutral, shabby, dusty, unbearable wife!

Where was I? Yes, procrastination is a B****! That's the point! And I really need to stop giving in to it. 8 whole months I have been thinking about my follow-up post! How many days? You do the maths! It's just painful realising how time passes while we resist moving along with it. Time is light and swift, while we are heavy and frozen! Took me years to launch a blog (not exactly building a rocket here, but yeah, metaphorically) and then 8 months to post on it! Damn! There you go! I said it!

Well, on the positive side that can be a very interesting case study for future psychologists. I'd like to think I am contributing to scientific research in any way! You're welcome! Sadly, will have to leave it here and start over again so I won't ruin my new topic with this not-so-exciting introduction. Catch-up soon.. I hope!